...Some People...

Some people think of themselves as what they have been. Their self image is either a past reminiscense or futuristic illusion. Very few decribe themselves in actuality- in a tense most relevant to their present self. That's why I don't take most people seriously. Their thought process has no relevence if not actuated to the present time. If you're not willing to think of yourself as who you are currently -or- Believe perpetual intention will satisfy your potential in life....
Know that some people think very differenly... And I'd rather not waste my time on your illegitimate imagery. In regard of who you are and what you think you were. Moments in time flee by the second. While memories of what you once were will always shape you they should never define who you are now.

...Oh The Irony...

Oh the irony of life... reminiscing over my adolescence I remember being so matter of fact about what I would accomplish and who I wanted to be. The irony then was age and experiential knowledge mitigated the attainability of those goals. Childhood had this inherent dependency that only time could control. And I just had to wait for time to take its toll. This ideal of the futuristic me was infallible, irrefutable, and indestructible. The irony in this is that to be infallible I had to experience the consequence of being unreliable. To truely be undeniable somewhere I learned restraint. While sticks and stones may very well break my bones- words did hurt my feelings. I've grown up to hate that silly saying and in the understanding of nonsensical statments like that you must learn not to take everything to heart. Yet an open mind has the space to make sense of it ALL. A pisspoor mentality begs for everyone's two cents. If we are unwilling to invest in ourselves its hard to find someone to provide sponsorship of their own dime.

I have learned time gives us all the change that you need. The unequivocal power that the time wields on the path we take yields us to fate. Yet its unwavering faith that brings about fortunes. The irony now is that as a young adult I have arrived existentially upon my independence and like most existentialist- I'm overwhelmed by it. All that waiting and its like- 'okay, now what?'

Now, you choose to change with the times, accept that age slows you down or get left behind. There used to be a time where you begged for time to pass and now I don't know where it went. It all just "flew by?!" I'm not very sure what happened but I'm pretty sure it was all well spent. Yet I find myself asking...(myself) " If I knew then," another idiom I detest. Well duh, if everything I know today were in there yesterday I'd find the time to regret things I'd do tomorrow. Then what would I ever achieve?

Oh the irony of life... finally getting to the point where age provides you all the freedoms of any person willing and able to seize the opportunity- manifest their destiny. In theory you can decide who you will become, how people perceive you, and how you react. But there is no road map telling you when you'll find your self at an impassable junction, unforgiving shoulder or tretcherous terrain. You learn finally in all those days of waiting for the golden age- that every minute is well spent if we allow our minds to remain in the present, reminiscent of the past and bounding forward toward future goals.

...And Then...

And then????!!! No and then, a year passed and I blogged nothing. But its not like nothing is new. A lot is new. I am so over resenting my parents. I'll forgive my mother when I get a chance to send her that Christmas present I bought her. I was penpals with a felon. I moved, helped a good friend detox off roxies, found a man to love me, got a demotion/promotion, offer to move up in the company and fired all in one summer. I've been busy. But as per the usual busy taking care of everyone elses business but my own. Then a whole year passes and I realized I haven't written much of anything since these last few posts. It's just like my friend Kirby says "don't fool yourself with New Year's resolutions..." If your life was shitty and you did nothing but say hooray for a new year, maybe this one will be better than the last, it can't get any worse. No stupid! Shit can't get any better if you don't make an effort to change the circumstance affecting your life. If you were fat last year and NYE came and past an you expect that this year your yearly resolution will tip the scale in your favor. Time begs to differ my friend.